When our parents were silent, unsure or sexually repressed, there was always Dr. Ruth.
Jason Heuer was 12 years old when he asked his dad to give him “the sex talk” during a drive to the grocery store.
His father cleared his throat and told him that there were three types of men: leg men, breast men and butt men, recalled Mr. Heuer, now 51, of Queens, N.Y. “Figure out which one you are,” his dad said. “Let me know if you have any more questions, OK?”
Mr. Heuer did, indeed, have more questions. Fortunately, he found a more enlightening source: Ruth Westheimer, a.k.a. Dr. Ruth, America’s most famous sex therapist, who died last week at 96.
“The way she talked about sex and normalized it was a relief,” said Mr. Heuer, who listened to her radio show night after night, comforted by her open, effervescent approach to even the most taboo topics. He credits the hours he spent listening to her with instilling in him a “guilt-free” approach to sexuality, despite a Catholic upbringing, he said.
For decades, Dr. Ruth brought intimate conversations about sex out into the open, offering frank and often funny advice in radio and TV appearances, books and articles. She was a force who challenged misconceptions about women’s sexuality, offered support and acceptance to the gay community and held strong views about what makes a happy life. Along the way, she became a touchstone for millions — many of whom were saddened to hear of her death and eager to share how she’d helped them understand themselves.
“She gave us permission to talk about sex — to talk about it on TV, to talk about it on the radio — in ways that were so freeing for people,” said Justin Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute, the sexuality and relationships research program, who considered Dr. Ruth a friend.