Laura Wells, 54, a fitness coach in Fort Worth, Texas, felt silly when she first tried giving herself a hug.
Then, she realized, “it really helps.”
It’s one of the ways that she is attempting to “reparent” herself — by meeting emotional needs that she says were neglected during her childhood.
The idea of reparenting has been around for decades, but the practice has flourished in recent years as interest in trauma-informed therapy has soared. It is now the subject of books, podcasts and TikTok hashtags.
In reparenting, the patient is empowered to find their hurt “inner child” and help it feel loved so that they can develop a stronger sense of self and better relationships with others. It’s not an easy process.
“I’m always telling people, reparenting your inner child is messy and uncomfortable and awkward,” said Nicole Johnson, a licensed professional counselor in Boise, Idaho and the author of a new book on the topic.
But when her clients acknowledge their pain and view it through the lens of their younger selves, she said, they tend to have more self-compassion and gradually drop the coping mechanisms from their childhood that are no longer helpful.