She doesn’t think she did anything wrong.
A friend and I, both 68 years old, have known each other since high school. We’ve become closer in the last 15 years and now speak almost daily. My friend has always been less fortunate financially than me, so I have been generous and have included her in my will to make sure she is taken care of in her older age.
Recently, she disclosed to me that she owns rental property that was willed to her 10 years ago by a late boyfriend, which she never told me about. She gets an income stream from the rental property that she deposits in the bank and doesn’t spend. She says she never told me about this income stream because she felt I’d be mad and jealous.
She claims that this rental property is a personal matter that she did not need to disclose. She feels she has not been deceitful in accepting my generosity, but now I feel it has been given under false pretenses. In addition, all our mutual friends know about this rental.
I believe that she did not tell me about her additional income because she wanted me to consider her poorer than she is, continue to pick up the tabs and keep her in my will. The chances are good that I would have done these things anyway, even if she had told me about the rental property, because I’m still significantly better off.
I am relieved that she is more financially stable than I thought. However, I feel taken advantage of and manipulated. My resentment is not about money. It’s about the truthfulness that friends owe each other.
Is it possible to be close to her or ever trust her again, particularly since she can’t offer an apology that includes accountability? She thinks she’s done nothing wrong.