Reva GoldbergEmily LangDavis LandChristina Djossa and
Jen Poyant and
Dan PowellElisheba IttoopSonia HerreroMarion Lozano and
Listen and follow Modern Love
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio
‘For me, the hardest was walking into a party with our friends, where I was like, I don’t want to be the fat couple.’
Courtenay Hameister worked hard to stop feeling shame about her body size, but she also had a cruel inner monologue that just wouldn’t leave her alone. At times, her internalized fatphobia was so powerful, she couldn’t think about romance at all. But when Courtenay started dating Jason, everything felt different. He was fat, too, as well as smart, funny, and handsome.
When Courtenay realized she was starting to gain weight again, though, she became obsessed with the idea that other people were judging her and Jason, and she made a decision she would immediately regret.
This episode is adapted from her 2023 essay “Were We the ‘Fat Couple’?”
Leave a message on the Modern Love hotline! This year (2024) is the 20th anniversary of the Modern Love column, and we want to know what impact it has had on you. Has reading Modern Love made a difference in how you think about your own relationships? How? Tell us in a voice mail message at (212) 589-8962. Please include your name, location and callback number, and you might hear yourself on a future episode.
How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times
How to submit a Tiny Love Story
Soon, you’ll need a subscription to keep full access to this show and to other New York Times podcasts, on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don’t miss out on exploring all our shows covering politics, pop culture and much more. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts.
Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.
Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang, Davis Land and Amy Pearl. The show is edited by Lynn Levy and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. Production management is by Christina Djossa. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. It features original music by Elisheba Ittoop, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano and Rowan Niemisto. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.
Special thanks to Larissa Anderson, Dahlia Haddad, Lisa Tobin, Brooke Minters, Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Christine Nguyen, Reyna Desai, Jordan Cohen, Victoria Kim, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.
Thoughts? Email us at [email protected].
Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”