In 1998, when Gillian Anderson posed for the cover of the now-defunct feminist magazine Jane, she had already been voted the “world’s sexiest woman” by the readers of FHM magazine. She had also recently won a Golden Globe and two Screen Actors Guild Awards for her role as the F.B.I. special agent Dr. Dana Scully on “The X-Files.”
But on the day of the shoot, all she could think about was how fat she felt.
“So much of my youth, at a time when I could have — should have — been as happy as you can imagine,” was spent obsessing over perceived flaws, she said. She recounted the experience to me in her temporary condo in Calgary, where she was shooting a period western called “The Abandons” for Netflix.
“I know from experience that when one is locked in shame, it’s very difficult to experience pleasure,” she added. “There’s no crack in the door for it to come through.”
Now, after decades of working through her own self-loathing, Ms. Anderson, 56, said she wants to help spare others from the pressure to conform to cultural expectations around the way a woman looks, thinks and behaves. Particularly as it relates to sex.
Because even if you’re the actual sexiest person in the world, you can feel entirely unsexy if you’re self-conscious or full of shame, she said. Beyond that, she has come to believe that the discomfort many women have with their bodies and desires is holding them back — in the bedroom and in life.
Over the past few years, Ms. Anderson has taken on a handful of side projects focused on women’s pleasure, including publishing a new book, “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” on Sept. 17. The book is meant to help women feel more comfortable expressing their most intimate desires and embracing what feels good.