Reaching out takes less time than you think.
My friend’s brother Andy had a longtime ritual that I love: For more than 20 years, he and his buddies met every Tuesday night to play hockey in his Michigan hometown. On the last week of the year, they would bring slow cookers full of meatballs and chili and set them up in the locker room. After they got of the ice, they’d have a feast in the parking lot.
I recently wrote a newsletter on how to make friends. Now, I’ll focus on deepening friendships you already have. I’ve asked experts to share inventive ways to connect with them, so that you can reap the considerable health benefits of close relationships — and slip more fun into your life.
Try a ‘limited series.’
Danielle Bayard Jackson, a friendship coach and the author of “Fighting for Our Friendships,” suggested something she calls a “limited series.” It’s an activity you can do with friends that lasts for a few weeks or months, she explained.
Try watching a new reality series, Jackson said, and meet every Saturday for a walk or a Zoom call to “analyze it like sociologists.”
For instance, Jackson and a friend watched the last season of “Insecure” together. The show aired on Sunday nights, and they’d debrief on Monday mornings for 15 minutes. The consistency of their weekly chat made them closer, she said, “and we shared things about ourselves, like, ‘Oh my gosh, I had a boyfriend like that.’”
Because a “limited series” has a hard start and stop date, there’s no pressure to sign on forever, and it reduces the mental labor of making plans, Jackson said.