‘Radiographer started crying during my cancer scan’

Molly Cuddihy realised how ill she was when the radiographer started crying during her scan.

Later that day a consultant told the then 15-year-old that she had a rare form of bone cancer.

Time was critical and she had to start chemotherapy at the Royal Hospital for Children in Glasgow the following week.

Molly, who was preparing for her National 5 exams, had mapped out her life and planned to study medicine.

She said: “That was all taken away from me in less than a minute. Everything falls away.

“There are so many parts of your life that it reaches into and affects.

“It is so much more than just a cancer diagnosis.”

The maths student, who now has no active cells, is one of eight women who share their stories in a candid new podcast.

Radio Therapy is aimed at young people and covers themes including mental health, body image and mortality.

The six-part series, produced by Glasgow-based Go Radio, has proved cathartic for the contributors and illuminating for their loved ones.

Molly, 21, told BBC Scotland News: “There’s things that I have said on the podcast that they have never heard me say before and they have lived it with me.

“It is almost like letting people in on a secret.”

The student, from Gourock, Inverclyde, felt something was wrong for about six months before she was finally diagnosed with metastatic Ewing’s sarcoma on 16 January 2018.

That day, the radiographer chatted and got to know her beforehand in a bid to calm her nerves.

But what happened next took them both by surprise.

Molly said: “The woman who was doing my scan started crying.

“If that was not a tell-tale sign then I don’t know what was.”

The teenager was transferred to A&E where she was given another scan and then admitted to the hospital’s Schiehallion ward, which cares for children and young people with blood-borne diseases and cancers.

Molly said: “All my consultant said to me was ‘we are treating to cure it’ and that’s all I needed to know.”

Mental health is one of the main themes of the podcast and Molly speaks with remarkable honesty about her own experiences.

She said: “I was going through it for two years and I was fine and then I had a stem cell transplant in 2020 and I totally broke down.

“I really couldn’t cope with it any more and I struggled for a long, long time.”

Molly said admitting she needed help was the “hardest part” and she wished more support was available six years ago.

She added: “The podcast lets people hear that they are not on their own, that this is how someone else experienced it, without actually having to leave the comfort of their room.

“They can access it all on their phone in hospital.”

Molly compared the experience of many cancer survivors to soldiers returning from a war zone.

She added: “You don’t just expect them to be ok when it’s all finished and they are home.”

The student admitted she still has trouble sleeping and often gets flashbacks to times when she wasn’t sedated.

Molly said: “There was a lot of things that I was awake for that I’m constantly remembering. That’s hard to cope with.

“I think I have come to terms with the fact that I had it and, to be quite blunt, I almost died from it.

“It is more that I am struggling with everything I have been left with.”

While undergoing chemotherapy Molly also experienced “frightening” shivers that were linked to a hospital-acquired infection.

In 2021 she recalled her ordeal when she gave evidence before the Scottish Hospitals Inquiry.

Although she has completed her cancer treatment, she has been left with irreparable liver damage and needs a kidney transplant.

Julie Cain, Teenage Cancer Trust national lead nurse for Scotland, came up with the idea for the podcast.

She said: “We forget how shocking it is to hear young people talking so openly about being given a cancer diagnosis and having to ask ‘am I going to die?’

“For me what shone through is that it is completely unscripted and completely authentic.

“It is a group of young people having a chat and saying ‘me too’.”

The women reflect on living with disabilities, fears they may never hold down a job and “scanxiety” around check-ups.

Molly said: “Living and surviving are two different things. A lot of us are not really living.”

Mairi MacLean, 24, also features on the new Radio Therapy podcast.

She was first diagnosed at the age of eight and is currently receiving her seventh treatment for acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.

For years Mairi struggled with the “tiresome and defeating” body positivity that filled her social media feeds.

But the concept of “body neutrality” changed her perspective.

She explained: “To be at peace with your body, not consuming energy in loving or hating it.

“It is a vessel that is trying hard to survive each day, whether you have an illness or not, and that is truly remarkable.

“My body will fluctuate and change over and over again but I am at peace with that because I admire the strength and perseverance of it.”

The podcast also deals with the side-effects of gruelling treatment, including hair loss and dramatic weight changes.

It was funded by Every Thank You Counts, a charity set up by Molly and her friend, Sara Millar, in 2019.

Since then, it has raised more than £300,000 for a new pre-teen common room in the Schiehallion ward and ongoing improvements, such as new loungers.

Each episode features three women talking frankly about their experiences.

Dana Maitles reveals her father kept a detailed journal of all the positive things she said after she was diagnosed with blood cancer on her 18th birthday.

When Dana, now 20, was struggling he read back her own words in a bid to lift her spirits.

Molly said people often find it difficult to talk to cancer patients or say the wrong thing.

She added: “A lot of people asked me if I was going to die? You don’t want to hear that. Or say ‘my gran died of cancer’.”

Another challenge is being asked incredibly personal questions, on issues such as fertility.

Molly said: “People forget you are a person and you very much become the illness, especially when you are young.”

The podcast highlights the need for patients to “be selfish” when it comes to talking about their condition.

And Molly said a simple statement from well-wishers, such as “I am thinking of you” or “I am here”, goes a long way.

She added: “Sometimes it’s all you want and that is such a comforting and amazing message to read.”

Last month the Princess of Wales announced in a video message that she is undergoing cancer treatment.

Molly described the news as “sad and horrible” but believes her words will help others.

She said: “You can say to a wee girl who is going through treatment ‘you can be like Princess Kate’.

“She is doing something very powerful by telling her story.”