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‘Labels are very deceptive. When somebody says widow, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve lost the love of their life. Or a girlfriend could mean something a lot more than just girlfriend.’
When Robin Aileen Bernstein’s almost-ex-husband, Mark, died of a heart attack, she suddenly found herself comforting her husband’s grieving girlfriend. Robin and Mark had been living apart for two years, but legally she was still the wife, so it was up to her to make the burial arrangements. Would offering to buy the girlfriend an adjoining plot make her feel less alone?
On this episode of “Modern Love,” Robin explains how she ended up buying her soon-to-be-ex’s girlfriend a burial plot — and who might actually end up being buried there.
Robin Eileen Bernstein’s Modern Love essay, “Here Lie the Bickersons, Side-by-Side for All Eternity,” can be found here.
Listener alert: For our upcoming Valentine’s Day episode, the “Modern Love” team wants to know about a moment when you knew you were falling for someone. Whether it happened all at once or it was a gradual process, we want to know how it happened for you. Where were you? What did it feel like? What did you do next? (You can tell us about a relationship you’re currently in, a past love or something happening to you right now.) The deadline is Feb. 5. Submission instructions are here.
How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times
How to submit a Tiny Love Story
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Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.
“Modern Love” is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang, Davis Land and Amy Pearl. The show is edited by Lynn Levy and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. Production management is by Christina Djossa. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and Sophia Lanman. The show is recorded by Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. It features original music by Marion Lozano, Aman Sahota and Rowan Niemisto. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.
Special thanks to Larissa Anderson, Dahlia Haddad, Lisa Tobin, Brooke Minters, Sawyer Roque, Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Christine Nguyen, Reyna Desai, Jordan Cohen, Victoria Kim, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.
Thoughts? Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.
Want more from Modern Love? Read past stories. Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”