On an October evening, in the lobby of an old building just off Park Avenue in Manhattan, a uniformed doorman led a few writers and editors into a hand-crank elevator. They had come for a party that would bring together the literary establishment and people involved in Feeld, a kink-friendly dating app. When the doorman brought the elevator to a stop on the ninth floor, the guests could hear the din of boisterous conversation emerging from an apartment in the hall.
The party was hosted by Daphne Merkin, a critic, novelist and journalist who has distinguished herself over a 50-year career as a frank chronicler of the cultured class. Somewhat to her annoyance, her best-known piece might be something she wrote nearly 30 years ago — “Unlikely Obsession,” an essay for The New Yorker in which she wrestled with her desire to be spanked.
“I still get fatigued when people bring up the spanking essay,” Ms. Merkin said as the guests arrived. “I’ve written so many other pieces on sex, and I’ve written so much else. But still I believe sex is not written about well enough — this basic human experience — so I was glad to be asked to host this party for a new erotica magazine published by a dating app called Feeld.”
In its original incarnation, under the name 3nder, Feeld matched singles and couples with those looking for threesomes. These days it bills itself as the “dating app for the curious” and sets itself apart from its many competitors by providing users with options for polyamory, bondage and even celibacy. Those who sign up can also select from a wide range of gender and identity preferences, from gender fluid to two-spirit.
Now Feeld has started a handsome biannual print magazine, AFM, which is where Ms. Merkin, 70, comes in. Her reputation as someone who has written intelligently about sex, along with her roomy book-lined Upper East Side apartment, made her the perfect host for an intimate launch party.