{"id":9841,"date":"2024-07-19T09:03:52","date_gmt":"2024-07-19T09:03:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=9841"},"modified":"2024-07-19T09:29:06","modified_gmt":"2024-07-19T09:29:06","slug":"heres-how-to-deal-with-nosy-questions-and-shut-down-predatory-curiosity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=9841","title":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s How to Deal With Nosy Questions and Shut Down \u2018Predatory Curiosity\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Here\u2019s how to shut down \u201cpredatory curiosity.\u201d<\/p>\n

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I have one kid. I am happy with one kid. Yet, over the years, dozens of people have asked if I\u2019m ever going to \u201cgive her a sibling.\u201d<\/p>\n

When I say no, the next question is usually a version of \u201cwon\u2019t she be lonely?\u201d At a party, someone once asked, \u201cWhat happens when you and your husband die, and your daughter has no family?\u201d Questions like these make me feel judged \u2014 like I am deliberately harming my daughter, or that I didn\u2019t think things through.<\/p>\n

At some point, most of us have been dismayed by invasive questions: Why are you still working \u2014 shouldn\u2019t you be retired by now? Why aren\u2019t you in a relationship? How come you\u2019re still unemployed? Many of us hear the same ones so often that we can sense the ramp-up.<\/p>\n

These questions are often a tactic for people to share their own points of view, said Scott Shigeoka, a fellow at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of \u201cSeek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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When you\u2019re genuinely curious about someone, Shigeoka explained, \u201cthe message is \u2018I want to understand you.\u2019\u201d But when people ask questions with an agenda, they\u2019re using something that he calls \u201cpredatory curiosity.\u201d In that case, Shigeoka said, \u201cthey\u2019re saying, I want to change you.\u201d (In my case, people were trying to convince me of the joys of having a large family.)<\/p>\n

I asked experts for advice on how to navigate these questions.<\/p>\n