{"id":5491,"date":"2024-05-03T09:06:32","date_gmt":"2024-05-03T09:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=5491"},"modified":"2024-05-03T09:26:21","modified_gmt":"2024-05-03T09:26:21","slug":"how-to-survive-your-high-school-reunion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=5491","title":{"rendered":"How to Survive Your High School Reunion"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" data-testid=\"onsite-summary\" class=\"css-1n0orw4 e1wiw3jv0\">Step one: Manage your expectations.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The first high school reunion I attended was held in a basement reached by a rickety elevator. After I got there, I hung out nearby to see the other arrivals. This turned out to be a mistake.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The elevator became a direct portal to my past: Who would step out next? I grew so anxious that a friend gently led me to the bar.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Rarely are we neutral about class reunions. A therapist friend told me that, every spring, she treats clients who spend entire sessions debating whether they should attend theirs in the summer.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">For many of us, high school was our whole world \u2014 willingly or not. \u201cIt\u2019s a very sensitive time of great change,\u201d said Diana Divecha, a developmental psychologist at Yale who attended her 40th reunion a few years ago.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Research suggests that the memories we form in adolescence and early adulthood are the most vivid \u2014 a phenomenon known as the <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/link.springer.com\/article\/10.3758\/s13421-016-0647-2\" title rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">reminiscence bump<\/a>. That can make reunions feel like a kind of psychological time travel, where your past identity collides with the present identity that you have spent years building, Dr. Divecha said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">I asked experts for advice on how to decide whether to go \u2014 and if you do, how to make the most of it.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"css-15h6bi9 e1gnsphs0\" id=\"link-2d7c631c\"><span>Manage your expectations.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">You may have fantasies of going back and impressing people who ignored you in school, said Mitch Prinstein, the chief science officer at the American Psychological Association and author of \u201cPopular.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Don\u2019t waste your time, he said. The movie scene where a former nerd makes a red-carpet entrance as everyone lowers their sunglasses in awe only exists on film, he added. Instead, present yourself as the person you are now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">At my reunion, I realized pretty quickly that we were all grown-ups. Many of us, by that point, had weathered our share of knocks \u2014 which made us more empathetic with one another. I discovered that a few classmates who had intimidated me in the old days had somehow turned into pleasant middle-aged people. As had I.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<h3 class=\"css-15h6bi9 e1gnsphs0\" id=\"link-529191b8\"><span>Don\u2019t party like it\u2019s 1999.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Hitting the bar can be tempting if you want to take the edge off or revive the old days, but it\u2019s probably better to be present and lucid, Dr. Divecha said. \u201cIt\u2019s one night,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd it goes so fast.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Instead, have a reliable game plan for quelling your nerves. \u201cWhen I went to my reunion, my strategy was to go with a friend, and we processed at various points during the night,\u201d Dr. Divecha said. \u201cEven in the bathroom.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"css-15h6bi9 e1gnsphs0\" id=\"link-724f762b\"><span>Think of yourself as a \u2018social anthropologist.\u2019<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">If you approach your classmates with curiosity, said Dr. Prinstein, you can observe and engage without \u201csetting up residence in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">You may find that people you didn\u2019t think were particularly cool back in the day are worth your admiration now, he said. \u201cAnd for many people that can lead to some pleasant surprises and nice interactions,\u201d Dr. Prinstein said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">It can be weird to reconnect with people who witnessed to all of your awkward adolescent glory, but shared history can have its rewards. One of my friends lost her mom when she was a teen and spent her reunion asking former classmates for memories of her mother. She heard a few stories that she had never known.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<h3 class=\"css-15h6bi9 e1gnsphs0\" id=\"link-69710374\"><span>Remember: You don\u2019t have to show up.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">If the idea of attending still makes you anxious, that\u2019s OK. \u201cIt\u2019s not for everybody,\u201d Dr. Divecha said. In which case, she said, give yourself permission not to go.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">I understand why many people have no interest in going, but I did end up having a good time at my reunion. I was my senior year class clown, and it was immensely freeing to act silly with my friends \u2014 something I don\u2019t get a ton of opportunities to do these days.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">I was also excited to see my biology teacher at the reunion (who wrote in my college recommendation letter about my transformation from a \u201cdistasteful caterpillar into a butterfly\u201d) and we\u2019ve since become text buddies.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">And, like Dr. Divecha pointed out, the event did speed by. A few hours later, I was taking the rickety elevator back to the present.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<hr class=\"css-7ad88g e1mu4ftr0\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"css-kypbrf eoo0vm40\" id=\"link-7aef9f1c\">A new study helps unravel why some \u2018super-agers\u2019 have exceptional memories.<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">We often assume that cognition gets worse as we become older. That\u2019s not the case for so-called super-agers \u2014 people aged 80 and up who have the memory of someone 20 to 30 years younger. New research focuses on what\u2019s so special about their brains.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Read the article: <\/strong><a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/29\/well\/mind\/super-agers-study.html\" title>A Peek Inside the Brains of \u2018Super-Agers\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n<hr class=\"css-7ad88g e1mu4ftr0\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"css-kypbrf eoo0vm40\" id=\"link-ec24fda\">Yes, you can train for sex.<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">If you want to have satisfying sex, experts say, you are likely to benefit from moving your body outside of the bedroom. A few specific exercises can be especially helpful for sexual function and enjoyment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">Read the article: <\/strong><a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/27\/well\/move\/sex-exercises-improve-performance.html\" title>5 Exercises for a Better Sex Life<\/a><\/p>\n<hr class=\"css-7ad88g e1mu4ftr0\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<h2 class=\"css-kypbrf eoo0vm40\" id=\"link-42f2dedc\">The Week in Well<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Here are some stories you don\u2019t want to miss:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"css-1le37cb ez3869y0\">\n<li class=\"css-1i3ul0c eoqvrfo0\">\n<p class=\"css-1il0jfh evys1bk0\">Can a sound bath wash away your worries? <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/29\/well\/live\/sound-bath-meditate-health-benefits.html\" title>Nicole Stock investigates<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"css-1i3ul0c eoqvrfo0\">\n<p class=\"css-1il0jfh evys1bk0\">Florida has banned most abortions after six weeks. Alisha Haridasani Gupta describes <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/30\/well\/live\/pregnancy-abortion-six-weeks.html\" title>how the first six weeks of pregnancy unfold<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"css-1i3ul0c eoqvrfo0\">\n<p class=\"css-1il0jfh evys1bk0\">That treadmill desk <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/05\/01\/well\/move\/treadmill-desk-standing.html\" title>might really be worth it<\/a>, finds Amanda Loudin.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"css-1i3ul0c eoqvrfo0\">\n<p class=\"css-1il0jfh evys1bk0\">Why is it so hard to shower when you\u2019re depressed? <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/30\/well\/mind\/hygeine-indifference-mental-health.html\" title>Anna Gibbs explains<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Let\u2019s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/nl.nytimes.com\/f\/a\/5TVJsv28sZS8z9IccKxfyA~~\/AAAAAQA~\/RgRmJFfEP0SyaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9ueXRfd2VsbC8_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MTgmZW1jPWVkaXRfaGhfMjAyMzA0MjAmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTA2NjImbmw9d2VsbCZyZWdpX2lkPTY2MDI4OTYxJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMwOTU4JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD0wZWYxNWM2YjAzZmUzNmQ0NzUwNjE4ZjJhNWM1ZGFmYVcDbnl0QgpkP8TSQWQATnDOUhtrYXRlLmxvd2Vuc3RlaW5Abnl0aW1lcy5jb21YBAAAAAA~?te=1&amp;nl=well&amp;emc=edit_hh_20230811\" title>Instagram<\/a>, or write to us at <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"mailto:well_newsletter@nytimes.com\" title>well_newsletter@nytimes.com<\/a>. And check out last week\u2019s newsletter about <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/26\/well\/live\/divorce-support-friends.html\" title>how to help your divorced friend<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div data-testid=\"lazy-loader\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div data-testid=\"lazy-loader\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<div data-testid=\"lazy-loader\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Step one: Manage your expectations.The first high school reunion I attended was held in a basement reached by a rickety elevator. After I got there, I hung out nearby to see the other arrivals. This turned out to be a mistake.The elevator became a direct portal to my past: Who would step out next? I grew so anxious that a friend gently led me to the bar.Rarely are we neutral about class reunions. A therapist friend told me that, every spring, she treats clients who spend entire sessions debating whether they should attend theirs in the summer.For many of us, high school was our whole world \u2014 willingly or not. \u201cIt\u2019s a very sensitive time of great change,\u201d said Diana Divecha, a developmental psychologist at Yale who attended her 40th reunion a few years ago.Research suggests that the memories we form in adolescence and early adulthood are the most vivid \u2014 a phenomenon known as the reminiscence bump. That can make reunions feel like a kind of psychological time travel, where your past identity collides with the present identity that you have spent years building, Dr. Divecha said.I asked experts for advice on how to decide whether to go \u2014 and if you do, how to make the most of it.Manage your expectations.You may have fantasies of going back and impressing people who ignored you in school, said Mitch Prinstein, the chief science officer at the American Psychological Association and author of \u201cPopular.\u201dDon\u2019t waste your time, he said. The movie scene where a former nerd makes a red-carpet entrance as everyone lowers their sunglasses in awe only exists on film, he added. Instead, present yourself as the person you are now.At my reunion, I realized pretty quickly that we were all grown-ups. Many of us, by that point, had weathered our share of knocks \u2014 which made us more empathetic with one another. I discovered that a few classmates who had intimidated me in the old days had somehow turned into pleasant middle-aged people. As had I.Don\u2019t party like it\u2019s 1999.Hitting the bar can be tempting if you want to take the edge off or revive the old days, but it\u2019s probably better to be present and lucid, Dr. Divecha said. \u201cIt\u2019s one night,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd it goes so fast.\u201dInstead, have a reliable game plan for quelling your nerves. \u201cWhen I went to my reunion, my strategy was to go with a friend, and we processed at various points during the night,\u201d Dr. Divecha said. \u201cEven in the bathroom.\u201dThink of yourself as a \u2018social anthropologist.\u2019If you approach your classmates with curiosity, said Dr. Prinstein, you can observe and engage without \u201csetting up residence in the past.\u201dYou may find that people you didn\u2019t think were particularly cool back in the day are worth your admiration now, he said. \u201cAnd for many people that can lead to some pleasant surprises and nice interactions,\u201d Dr. Prinstein said.It can be weird to reconnect with people who witnessed to all of your awkward adolescent glory, but shared history can have its rewards. One of my friends lost her mom when she was a teen and spent her reunion asking former classmates for memories of her mother. She heard a few stories that she had never known.Remember: You don\u2019t have to show up.If the idea of attending still makes you anxious, that\u2019s OK. \u201cIt\u2019s not for everybody,\u201d Dr. Divecha said. In which case, she said, give yourself permission not to go.I understand why many people have no interest in going, but I did end up having a good time at my reunion. I was my senior year class clown, and it was immensely freeing to act silly with my friends \u2014 something I don\u2019t get a ton of opportunities to do these days.I was also excited to see my biology teacher at the reunion (who wrote in my college recommendation letter about my transformation from a \u201cdistasteful caterpillar into a butterfly\u201d) and we\u2019ve since become text buddies.And, like Dr. Divecha pointed out, the event did speed by. A few hours later, I was taking the rickety elevator back to the present.A new study helps unravel why some \u2018super-agers\u2019 have exceptional memories.We often assume that cognition gets worse as we become older. That\u2019s not the case for so-called super-agers \u2014 people aged 80 and up who have the memory of someone 20 to 30 years younger. New research focuses on what\u2019s so special about their brains.Read the article: A Peek Inside the Brains of \u2018Super-Agers\u2019Yes, you can train for sex.If you want to have satisfying sex, experts say, you are likely to benefit from moving your body outside of the bedroom. A few specific exercises can be especially helpful for sexual function and enjoyment.Read the article: 5 Exercises for a Better Sex LifeThe Week in WellHere are some stories you don\u2019t want to miss:Can a sound bath wash away your worries? Nicole Stock investigates.Florida has banned most abortions after six weeks. Alisha Haridasani Gupta describes how the first six weeks of pregnancy unfold.That treadmill desk might really be worth it, finds Amanda Loudin.Why is it so hard to shower when you\u2019re depressed? Anna Gibbs explains.Let\u2019s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at well_newsletter@nytimes.com. And check out last week\u2019s newsletter about how to help your divorced friend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5493,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5491"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5491\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5494,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5491\/revisions\/5494"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}