{"id":5262,"date":"2024-04-30T07:00:22","date_gmt":"2024-04-30T07:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=5262"},"modified":"2024-04-30T07:25:35","modified_gmt":"2024-04-30T07:25:35","slug":"how-married-couples-navigate-sexless-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=5262","title":{"rendered":"How Married Couples Navigate Sexless Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" class=\"css-1n0orw4 e1wiw3jv0\">Amanda Montei, a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, spoke to more than 30 married people for whom sex is not essential.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-798hid etfikam0\"><a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/series\/times-insider\" title>Times Insider<\/a> explains who we are and what we do and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">When Amanda Montei began reporting an article last year about married couples who had little to no sex, she didn\u2019t know how forthcoming people would be about their sex lives.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">But to her surprise, many of the couples were willing \u2014 grateful, even \u2014 to talk about it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">\u201cIt was almost like a pressure valve was released,\u201d Ms. Montei said of her conversations with more than 30 married people who are among the <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/gss.norc.org\/Documents\/codebook\/GSS%202021%20Codebook%20R1.pdf\" title rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">50 percent of American adults having sex once a month or less<\/a>. \u201cMost couples I talked with said speaking to me felt like a relief because they were able to talk openly about their sexual lives without judgment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The article, which <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2024\/04\/17\/magazine\/sexless-marriage.html\" title>was published this month<\/a> in the Modern Love issue of The New York Times Magazine, is based on phone and video conversations with couples in seven states, as well as Canada, Britain and Italy, and took Ms. Montei five months to report.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">\u201cMy main takeaway was that there are so many factors that influence a person\u2019s desire,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s a really complicated negotiation with the self and the body and our current cultural moment.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">In a phone conversation from her home in the San Francisco Bay Area, Ms. Montei discussed how she helped sources feel comfortable sharing intimate details of their private lives and what questions she hopes to tackle next in her reporting. These are edited excerpts.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">How did you come up with the idea for this article?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">I published a book last fall about motherhood and sexuality and received lots of notes from readers who connected with it and saw themselves represented in it, and who found that motherhood impacted the way they viewed their bodies, sexual lives and relationships. Writing and publishing the book made me more curious about women\u2019s sexual lives, especially how desires can change with age and parenthood; what marriage has tended to demand of women; and how people in long-term heterosexual relationships navigate those changes today.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-1336jj\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171d1bw\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\">\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\">\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F04%2F30%2Finsider%2Fsexless-marriage.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F04%2F30%2Finsider%2Fsexless-marriage.html\">subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"log-in-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F04%2F30%2Finsider%2Fsexless-marriage.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"subscribe-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F04%2F30%2Finsider%2Fsexless-marriage.html\">Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amanda Montei, a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, spoke to more than 30 married people for whom sex is not essential.Times Insider explains who we are and what we do and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.When Amanda Montei began reporting an article last year about married couples who had little to no sex, she didn\u2019t know how forthcoming people would be about their sex lives.But to her surprise, many of the couples were willing \u2014 grateful, even \u2014 to talk about it.\u201cIt was almost like a pressure valve was released,\u201d Ms. Montei said of her conversations with more than 30 married people who are among the 50 percent of American adults having sex once a month or less. \u201cMost couples I talked with said speaking to me felt like a relief because they were able to talk openly about their sexual lives without judgment.\u201dThe article, which was published this month in the Modern Love issue of The New York Times Magazine, is based on phone and video conversations with couples in seven states, as well as Canada, Britain and Italy, and took Ms. Montei five months to report.\u201cMy main takeaway was that there are so many factors that influence a person\u2019s desire,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s a really complicated negotiation with the self and the body and our current cultural moment.\u201dIn a phone conversation from her home in the San Francisco Bay Area, Ms. Montei discussed how she helped sources feel comfortable sharing intimate details of their private lives and what questions she hopes to tackle next in her reporting. These are edited excerpts.How did you come up with the idea for this article?I published a book last fall about motherhood and sexuality and received lots of notes from readers who connected with it and saw themselves represented in it, and who found that motherhood impacted the way they viewed their bodies, sexual lives and relationships. Writing and publishing the book made me more curious about women\u2019s sexual lives, especially how desires can change with age and parenthood; what marriage has tended to demand of women; and how people in long-term heterosexual relationships navigate those changes today.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5264,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5262"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5265,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5262\/revisions\/5265"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5264"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}