{"id":3129,"date":"2024-03-28T08:00:36","date_gmt":"2024-03-28T09:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=3129"},"modified":"2024-03-28T09:26:22","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T09:26:22","slug":"what-a-guys-trip-taught-a-middle-aged-introvert-about-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=3129","title":{"rendered":"What a Guys Trip Taught a Middle-Aged Introvert About Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" class=\"css-1n0orw4 e1wiw3jv0\">The idea of a \u201cguys trip\u201d was nerve-racking. But it turned out to be a valuable lesson in friendship.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">It began as ideas, good and bad, often do: in a bar.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">My soccer club \u2014 a group of mostly middle-aged dads in suburban New Jersey \u2014 was enjoying its weekly post-match pint when we began talking about how fun it would be to play against a similar team in Mexico City, where several of our players grew up. The idea gradually gained momentum until, suddenly, one day last December, we were buying airplane tickets.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">But let me back up: A few years ago, I moved to Madison, N.J., after decades in New York City. I knew no one there outside of my family. Busy with work and getting my daughter settled, I didn\u2019t have much time to think about socializing. As an introvert who works from home, that was never going to be easy. As a 50-something, I\u2019d met my closest friends decades earlier. Did I even need new ones?<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">What I did want to do was bring my soccer habit with me from the city. Eventually, via my neighbor Andrea, who was born in Italy, I found a regular pickup game. The first match was enjoyable and the group seemed affable, so I kept showing up.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Mostly expats, my new teammates ranged in age and background, and I enjoyed being exposed to their perspectives. The youngest, Jorge, an elementary schoolteacher originally from Colombia, was not quite half my age, and we joked about my adopting him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">As we got to know one another better, we became more like a team \u2014 complete with jerseys with our custom \u201cMadison Soccer and Beers\u201d logo \u2014 and our<em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\"> <\/em>activities started to expand. We\u2019d gather for a cookout or go mountain biking; we even tried paintball. Soon, I was telling the guys how lucky I felt to have found them, and they were saying equally sappy stuff.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">After a few months, I began to realize my hunger to play soccer wasn\u2019t entirely about the game. I was looking for connection. But as the trip to Mexico loomed, I began to have a few doubts: I was the oldest guy by some 10 years \u2014 would I be able to keep up? Did I really want to share an Airbnb with 14 others? And would I get roasted for my extreme sleep routine: eye mask, mouth tape, wall of white noise?<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-1336jj\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171d1bw\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\">\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\">\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F03%2F28%2Fwell%2Flive%2Fadult-friendships-vacation.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F03%2F28%2Fwell%2Flive%2Fadult-friendships-vacation.html\">subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"log-in-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F03%2F28%2Fwell%2Flive%2Fadult-friendships-vacation.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"subscribe-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F03%2F28%2Fwell%2Flive%2Fadult-friendships-vacation.html\">Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The idea of a \u201cguys trip\u201d was nerve-racking. But it turned out to be a valuable lesson in friendship.It began as ideas, good and bad, often do: in a bar.My soccer club \u2014 a group of mostly middle-aged dads in suburban New Jersey \u2014 was enjoying its weekly post-match pint when we began talking about how fun it would be to play against a similar team in Mexico City, where several of our players grew up. The idea gradually gained momentum until, suddenly, one day last December, we were buying airplane tickets.But let me back up: A few years ago, I moved to Madison, N.J., after decades in New York City. I knew no one there outside of my family. Busy with work and getting my daughter settled, I didn\u2019t have much time to think about socializing. As an introvert who works from home, that was never going to be easy. As a 50-something, I\u2019d met my closest friends decades earlier. Did I even need new ones?What I did want to do was bring my soccer habit with me from the city. Eventually, via my neighbor Andrea, who was born in Italy, I found a regular pickup game. The first match was enjoyable and the group seemed affable, so I kept showing up.Mostly expats, my new teammates ranged in age and background, and I enjoyed being exposed to their perspectives. The youngest, Jorge, an elementary schoolteacher originally from Colombia, was not quite half my age, and we joked about my adopting him.As we got to know one another better, we became more like a team \u2014 complete with jerseys with our custom \u201cMadison Soccer and Beers\u201d logo \u2014 and our activities started to expand. We\u2019d gather for a cookout or go mountain biking; we even tried paintball. Soon, I was telling the guys how lucky I felt to have found them, and they were saying equally sappy stuff.After a few months, I began to realize my hunger to play soccer wasn\u2019t entirely about the game. I was looking for connection. But as the trip to Mexico loomed, I began to have a few doubts: I was the oldest guy by some 10 years \u2014 would I be able to keep up? Did I really want to share an Airbnb with 14 others? And would I get roasted for my extreme sleep routine: eye mask, mouth tape, wall of white noise?We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3131,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3129"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3132,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3129\/revisions\/3132"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3131"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}