{"id":29926,"date":"2025-06-19T09:01:35","date_gmt":"2025-06-19T09:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=29926"},"modified":"2025-06-19T09:24:46","modified_gmt":"2025-06-19T09:24:46","slug":"how-do-i-tell-a-friend-shes-no-longer-invited-to-my-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=29926","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Tell a Friend She\u2019s No Longer Invited to My Wedding?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" class=\"css-79rysd e1wiw3jv0\">Ask the Therapist columnist Lori Gottlieb advises a reader whose close friend is no longer welcome at her nuptials.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-0\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">I\u2019m getting married in August. Shortly after my engagement, I asked my fianc\u00e9\u2019s brother\u2019s wife to be a bridesmaid. During the seven years my fianc\u00e9 and I have been together, I formed a close friendship with my future-sister-in-law and considered her to be like a sister.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">Unfortunately, she and my fianc\u00e9\u2019s brother have just divorced and the split, though mutual, isn\u2019t amicable. She immediately moved to a new city without saying goodbye. I understand this isn\u2019t about me, but it hurt. I miss her deeply \u2014 she was my closest female friend for years. My fianc\u00e9 is extremely close to his brother, who has said that he prefers that none of his family have any contact with his ex.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">My problem is that my ex-future-sister-in-law just reached out to ask about plans for my bachelorette party. A few months ago, I would have felt overjoyed to hear from her. But given the circumstances, my fianc\u00e9 and I decided, and assumed she understood, that she would no longer be invited.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">I would prefer to minimize my contact with her to avoid dredging up difficult feelings or creating conflict. However, I feel as though I must actually tell her she is not invited to our wedding. After all, she did receive both a save-the-date and an invitation to be my bridesmaid before they divorced, neither of which I revoked.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-testid=\"Dropzone-1\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-1\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">I\u2019m surprised to be in this position. I truly thought any rational person would know they were disinvited from a wedding under these circumstances. How can I be respectful to all people involved here, and also attempt to protect my own emotional well-being?<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><strong class=\"css-8qgvsz ebyp5n10\">From the Therapist:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re dealing with such a challenging situation as your wedding day approaches. You\u2019re navigating not just a re-evaluation of wedding logistics, but a reorganization of an entire relational system. Your brother-in-law\u2019s ex-wife wasn\u2019t just a bridesmaid \u2014 for seven years, she was your closest female friend, and you saw her as a sister. There\u2019s real loss. Meanwhile, you\u2019re entering into a new role in your fianc\u00e9\u2019s family, including that of a wife and sister-in-law.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-kbghgg\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171quhb\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\">\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\" data-tpl=\"t\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\" data-tpl=\"t\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\">\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F06%2F19%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fin-law-wedding-invitation.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F06%2F19%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fin-law-wedding-invitation.html\">subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\" data-tpl=\"t\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\" data-tpl=\"t\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"log-in-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F06%2F19%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fin-law-wedding-invitation.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\" data-tpl=\"t\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"subscribe-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F06%2F19%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fin-law-wedding-invitation.html\">Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ask the Therapist columnist Lori Gottlieb advises a reader whose close friend is no longer welcome at her nuptials.I\u2019m getting married in August. Shortly after my engagement, I asked my fianc\u00e9\u2019s brother\u2019s wife to be a bridesmaid. During the seven years my fianc\u00e9 and I have been together, I formed a close friendship with my future-sister-in-law and considered her to be like a sister.Unfortunately, she and my fianc\u00e9\u2019s brother have just divorced and the split, though mutual, isn\u2019t amicable. She immediately moved to a new city without saying goodbye. I understand this isn\u2019t about me, but it hurt. I miss her deeply \u2014 she was my closest female friend for years. My fianc\u00e9 is extremely close to his brother, who has said that he prefers that none of his family have any contact with his ex.My problem is that my ex-future-sister-in-law just reached out to ask about plans for my bachelorette party. A few months ago, I would have felt overjoyed to hear from her. But given the circumstances, my fianc\u00e9 and I decided, and assumed she understood, that she would no longer be invited.I would prefer to minimize my contact with her to avoid dredging up difficult feelings or creating conflict. However, I feel as though I must actually tell her she is not invited to our wedding. After all, she did receive both a save-the-date and an invitation to be my bridesmaid before they divorced, neither of which I revoked.I\u2019m surprised to be in this position. I truly thought any rational person would know they were disinvited from a wedding under these circumstances. How can I be respectful to all people involved here, and also attempt to protect my own emotional well-being?From the Therapist: I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re dealing with such a challenging situation as your wedding day approaches. You\u2019re navigating not just a re-evaluation of wedding logistics, but a reorganization of an entire relational system. Your brother-in-law\u2019s ex-wife wasn\u2019t just a bridesmaid \u2014 for seven years, she was your closest female friend, and you saw her as a sister. There\u2019s real loss. Meanwhile, you\u2019re entering into a new role in your fianc\u00e9\u2019s family, including that of a wife and sister-in-law.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29928,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29926"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29926\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29929,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29926\/revisions\/29929"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/29928"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}