{"id":27394,"date":"2025-05-08T09:00:54","date_gmt":"2025-05-08T09:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=27394"},"modified":"2025-05-08T09:25:08","modified_gmt":"2025-05-08T09:25:08","slug":"is-it-wrong-to-date-my-friends-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=27394","title":{"rendered":"Is It Wrong to Date My Friend\u2019s Ex?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Maybe we shouldn\u2019t have hooked up so soon after their breakup.<\/p>\n

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I have been friends with two women who have been a couple for nine years. They recently broke up. I remained friends with both of them, trying to support them equally through their breakup. One of them, whom I\u2019ll call \u201cAlice,\u201d wanted me to not be friends with \u201cJane.\u201d She said she needed a friend who was all hers. I told her I could not do that and wanted to remain friends with both.<\/em><\/p>\n

After a couple of months, Alice started dating someone else and seemed happy. She told me she was moving on.<\/em><\/p>\n

About a week after that, Jane and I started having romantic feelings for each other. After we determined this might be a serious relationship, we told Alice. At first, Alice said she was happy for us and that these things happen. But after getting off the call, she texted that she needed space. She will not talk to me now and has told mutual friends untrue things about me. Most of our friends are trying to be friends with both of us, but some are excluding me.<\/em><\/p>\n

My relationship with Jane is going well. We are not getting any younger and really want our chance at a lasting relationship. But I miss my friend.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Was I wrong to start dating my friend\u2019s ex so soon? How long are people \u201csupposed\u201d to wait?<\/em><\/p>\n

From the Therapist:<\/strong> The problem here is that relationships (friendships included) don\u2019t operate on a clear-cut system of \u201cright\u201d and \u201cwrong.\u201d They operate in the murky waters of feelings.<\/p>\n

Feelings and morality are two different things, and you\u2019ve been considering the situation from what you believe is a morally defensible stance. You supported both friends during their breakup \u2014 a tricky and delicate balancing act. When it became clear that a romantic relationship with Jane was brewing, you reflected, talked and disclosed. And from your perspective, Alice had already reached a new chapter in her life \u2014 at least externally.<\/p>\n

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Maybe we shouldn\u2019t have hooked up so soon after their breakup.I have been friends with two women who have been a couple for nine years. They recently broke up. I remained friends with both of them, trying to support them equally through their breakup. One of them, whom I\u2019ll call \u201cAlice,\u201d wanted me to not be friends with \u201cJane.\u201d She said she needed a friend who was all hers. I told her I could not do that and wanted to remain friends with both.After a couple of months, Alice started dating someone else and seemed happy. She told me she was moving on.About a week after that, Jane and I started having romantic feelings for each other. After we determined this might be a serious relationship, we told Alice. At first, Alice said she was happy for us and that these things happen. But after getting off the call, she texted that she needed space. She will not talk to me now and has told mutual friends untrue things about me. Most of our friends are trying to be friends with both of us, but some are excluding me.My relationship with Jane is going well. We are not getting any younger and really want our chance at a lasting relationship. But I miss my friend.Was I wrong to start dating my friend\u2019s ex so soon? How long are people \u201csupposed\u201d to wait?From the Therapist: The problem here is that relationships (friendships included) don\u2019t operate on a clear-cut system of \u201cright\u201d and \u201cwrong.\u201d They operate in the murky waters of feelings.Feelings and morality are two different things, and you\u2019ve been considering the situation from what you believe is a morally defensible stance. You supported both friends during their breakup \u2014 a tricky and delicate balancing act. When it became clear that a romantic relationship with Jane was brewing, you reflected, talked and disclosed. And from your perspective, Alice had already reached a new chapter in her life \u2014 at least externally.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27396,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27394"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27397,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27394\/revisions\/27397"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}