{"id":27322,"date":"2025-05-07T17:13:46","date_gmt":"2025-05-07T17:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=27322"},"modified":"2025-05-07T17:25:05","modified_gmt":"2025-05-07T17:25:05","slug":"3-things-a-couples-therapist-wants-you-to-do-for-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=27322","title":{"rendered":"3 Things a Couples Therapist Wants You to Do For Your Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" class=\"css-79rysd e1wiw3jv0\">Terry Real shares simple strategies for surviving fights and maintaining long-term intimacy.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-0\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">In his work as a couples therapist, Terry Real sees people asking more from their romantic relationships than ever before. They want deep intimacy. Romantic walks on the beach. Great sex well into their 70s.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">\u201cWe all want gods or goddesses that are going to complete us and heal us,\u201d Mr. Real, the author of \u201c<a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/06\/06\/well\/family\/terrence-real-book-relationships.html\" title>Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship<\/a>,\u201d said onstage Wednesday at the New York Times Well Festival in Brooklyn. \u201cThe reality is, we\u2019re stuck with a person who is just as imperfect as we are.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The good news? Learning a few simple relationship skills can help couples navigate the ups and downs of long-term intimacy.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"css-1u37br4 eoo0vm40\" id=\"link-7615a0cf\">Give up on being right.<\/h2>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">It\u2019s easy to think that one of you is inherently on the winning side of an argument and that the other has it all wrong.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-testid=\"Dropzone-1\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-1\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">But Mr. Real often tells his clients: \u201cWho\u2019s right? Who\u2019s wrong? Who cares?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Instead of fixating on sides, Mr. Real recommended thinking of your relationship as a \u201cbiosphere.\u201d You live inside of it, and it is in your interest to keep it healthy. When you\u2019re in the thick of a tiff, remind yourself it may ultimately be in your own best interest to prioritize protecting that biosphere over proving a point.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">And if you still find yourself stubbornly clinging to the idea of being right, ask yourself: How do I want to use my time? Do I want to spend the evening arguing? You might quickly realize that finding common ground with your partner is more appealing than winning the fight.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-kbghgg\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171quhb\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\">\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\">\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F05%2F07%2Fwell%2Frelationship-advice-terry-real.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F05%2F07%2Fwell%2Frelationship-advice-terry-real.html\">subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"log-in-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F05%2F07%2Fwell%2Frelationship-advice-terry-real.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"subscribe-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2025%2F05%2F07%2Fwell%2Frelationship-advice-terry-real.html\">Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Terry Real shares simple strategies for surviving fights and maintaining long-term intimacy.In his work as a couples therapist, Terry Real sees people asking more from their romantic relationships than ever before. They want deep intimacy. Romantic walks on the beach. Great sex well into their 70s.\u201cWe all want gods or goddesses that are going to complete us and heal us,\u201d Mr. Real, the author of \u201cUs: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship,\u201d said onstage Wednesday at the New York Times Well Festival in Brooklyn. \u201cThe reality is, we\u2019re stuck with a person who is just as imperfect as we are.\u201dThe good news? Learning a few simple relationship skills can help couples navigate the ups and downs of long-term intimacy.Give up on being right.It\u2019s easy to think that one of you is inherently on the winning side of an argument and that the other has it all wrong.But Mr. Real often tells his clients: \u201cWho\u2019s right? Who\u2019s wrong? Who cares?\u201dInstead of fixating on sides, Mr. Real recommended thinking of your relationship as a \u201cbiosphere.\u201d You live inside of it, and it is in your interest to keep it healthy. When you\u2019re in the thick of a tiff, remind yourself it may ultimately be in your own best interest to prioritize protecting that biosphere over proving a point.And if you still find yourself stubbornly clinging to the idea of being right, ask yourself: How do I want to use my time? Do I want to spend the evening arguing? You might quickly realize that finding common ground with your partner is more appealing than winning the fight.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27324,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27322"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27325,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27322\/revisions\/27325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}