{"id":26277,"date":"2025-04-20T11:01:21","date_gmt":"2025-04-20T11:01:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=26277"},"modified":"2025-04-20T11:23:50","modified_gmt":"2025-04-20T11:23:50","slug":"when-they-dont-recognize-you-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=26277","title":{"rendered":"When They Don\u2019t Recognize You Anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

People with dementia often forget even close family members as the disease advances. \u201cIt can throw people into an existential crisis,\u201d one expert said.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

It happened more than a decade ago, but the moment remains with her.<\/p>\n

Sara Stewart was talking at the dining room table with her mother, Barbara Cole, 86, in Bar Harbor, Maine. Ms. Stewart, then 59, a lawyer, was making one of her extended visits from out of state.<\/p>\n

Two or three years earlier, Ms. Cole had begun showing troubling signs of dementia, probably from a series of small strokes. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to yank her out of her home,\u201d Ms. Stewart said.<\/p>\n

So with a squadron of helpers \u2014 a housekeeper, regular family visitors, a watchful neighbor and a meal-delivery service \u2014 Ms. Cole remained in the house she and her late husband had built 30-odd years earlier.<\/p>\n

She was managing, and she usually seemed cheerful and chatty. But this conversation in 2014 took a different turn.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\n
\n

\u201cShe said to me: \u2018Now, where is it we know each other from? Was it from school?\u2019\u201d her daughter and firstborn recalled. \u201cI felt like I\u2019d been kicked.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ms. Stewart remembers thinking that \u201cin the natural course of things, you were supposed to die before me. But you were never supposed to forget who I am.\u201d Later, alone, she wept.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\n
\n
\n

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n

Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People with dementia often forget even close family members as the disease advances. \u201cIt can throw people into an existential crisis,\u201d one expert said.It happened more than a decade ago, but the moment remains with her.Sara Stewart was talking at the dining room table with her mother, Barbara Cole, 86, in Bar Harbor, Maine. Ms. Stewart, then 59, a lawyer, was making one of her extended visits from out of state.Two or three years earlier, Ms. Cole had begun showing troubling signs of dementia, probably from a series of small strokes. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to yank her out of her home,\u201d Ms. Stewart said.So with a squadron of helpers \u2014 a housekeeper, regular family visitors, a watchful neighbor and a meal-delivery service \u2014 Ms. Cole remained in the house she and her late husband had built 30-odd years earlier.She was managing, and she usually seemed cheerful and chatty. But this conversation in 2014 took a different turn.\u201cShe said to me: \u2018Now, where is it we know each other from? Was it from school?\u2019\u201d her daughter and firstborn recalled. \u201cI felt like I\u2019d been kicked.\u201dMs. Stewart remembers thinking that \u201cin the natural course of things, you were supposed to die before me. But you were never supposed to forget who I am.\u201d Later, alone, she wept.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26279,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26277"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26280,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26277\/revisions\/26280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/26279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}