{"id":26085,"date":"2025-04-16T13:00:03","date_gmt":"2025-04-16T13:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=26085"},"modified":"2025-04-16T13:23:18","modified_gmt":"2025-04-16T13:23:18","slug":"how-do-i-tell-my-old-friend-that-his-new-partner-is-a-dud","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=26085","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Tell My Old Friend That His New Partner Is a Dud?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A reader is struggling to reconcile a friend\u2019s partner\u2019s fussy diet and aversion to walking with a planned gastronomic tour of Europe.<\/p>\n

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I have an old friend whom I love to spend time with. We always said that we would travel together when we retired. But my friend\u2019s new life partner is a wet blanket! He\u2019s a picky eater, doesn\u2019t like to walk and complains constantly. Still, I\u2019ve been careful to accommodate him: changing restaurants, for instance, and avoiding anything strenuous. I don\u2019t want to upset my friend with negative opinions about his partner. But now my friend wants to plan a European trip focusing on great restaurants. I don\u2019t want to waste my hard-earned time and money traveling with his partner and his depressing issues. How do I tell my friend that including his partner on trips is a deal breaker?<\/em><\/p>\n

FRIEND<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t! I have enough experience with old friends and their new partners to tell you definitively that an ultimatum like \u201cIt\u2019s him or me\u201d will probably spell disaster for your friendship. Your friend\u2019s partner is important to him, and I think you know this already: It\u2019s why you\u2019ve been so deferential toward him. And continuing this wise approach may help you preserve a dear friendship.<\/p>\n

Now, I agree that taking a food tour through the great restaurants of Europe with a picky eater sounds unappetizing. (Calf\u2019s brain, anyone?) But I predict you will achieve a happier result here by acting solicitously: \u201cI would hate for your partner to be uncomfortable in restaurants that are more adventurous than he likes. Let\u2019s come up with a plan that works for everyone.\u201d You may want to be (much) more direct, but there is no upside to criticizing your friend\u2019s partner.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Here\u2019s the thing: Our lives are always changing. You may be understandably sad that your relationship with your friend is different now from when you first discussed traveling together. But he is not dumping his partner for you. So, look for the best result you can find now: Maybe a monthly dinner for two at the foodiest joints in town?<\/p>\n

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Miguel Porlan<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n