{"id":25096,"date":"2025-04-01T09:03:37","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T09:03:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=25096"},"modified":"2025-04-01T09:23:44","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T09:23:44","slug":"white-lotus-highlights-the-way-old-friends-bring-out-our-worst-selves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=25096","title":{"rendered":"\u2018White Lotus\u2019 Highlights the Way Old Friends Bring Out Our Worst Selves"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u201cThe White Lotus\u201d highlights a common phenomenon in long-term friend groups: Nobody ever changes.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe\u2019re still the same people we were in the 10th grade,\u201d Carrie Coon\u2019s character, Laurie, on the hit HBO series \u201cThe White Lotus,\u201d tells her two friends. \u201cIt\u2019s just funny,\u201d she adds.<\/p>\n

What she\u2019s referring to isn\u2019t literally funny, nor is it nostalgic. The comment reflects an undercurrent of tension that runs through their relationships. The three women, who have been friends since elementary school and are vacationing together at a luxury resort in Thailand, fawn over one another for being \u201ctoo generous\u201d and looking \u201cincredible.\u201d But they also pair up<\/a> and gossip about each other \u2014 for drinking too much, needing male attention and for maybe being Republican. They are in their 40s, but their dynamics recall that of a high school clique. <\/p>\n

To many<\/a> viewers<\/a>, these details spotlight a common experience: Sometimes you regress when you\u2019re with the people you\u2019ve known the longest. Being reminded of a long-tucked-away facet of your personality can be one of the upsides of long-term friendship. But old friends can also bring back long-abandoned self-doubt and unhealthy patterns that can leave you with \u201cthat ick feeling,\u201d said Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, who studies friendships.<\/p>\n

The \u201cWhite Lotus\u201d creator, Mike White, wanted to explore this regressive behavior among friends, especially when one has seemingly achieved more success than the others have. (Jaclyn, played by Michelle Monaghan, is a famous TV actor; Kate, played by Leslie Bibb, is a stay-at-home mom; and Laurie is a corporate lawyer.) \u201cJust being around those people scratches certain wounds, even if they don\u2019t mean to,\u201d Mr. White said in an interview in February with HBO. As a result, you feel compelled, he said, to \u201cjustify your life to certain types of people that you have that history with.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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The competitive tension flares up when the three women meet the resort\u2019s attractive and flirtatious \u201chealth mentor,\u201d Valentin, and a tangle ensues over his attention. \u201cWhy did you keep pushing him on me when it was always your plan to hook up with him yourself?\u201d Laurie demands of Jaclyn, pouting when she gets no satisfying answer. \u201cIt\u2019s like nobody ever changes,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Insecurity is the jet fuel that drives this kind of dynamic, Dr. Campbell said. Childhood friends are formed at a time when individuals, particularly young girls, generally have lower self-esteem. At that age, we might compare ourselves with our friends and seek more external validation, she said. \u201cHopefully, by the time you get to adulthood, you work through that insecurity.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cThe White Lotus\u201d highlights a common phenomenon in long-term friend groups: Nobody ever changes.\u201cWe\u2019re still the same people we were in the 10th grade,\u201d Carrie Coon\u2019s character, Laurie, on the hit HBO series \u201cThe White Lotus,\u201d tells her two friends. \u201cIt\u2019s just funny,\u201d she adds.What she\u2019s referring to isn\u2019t literally funny, nor is it nostalgic. The comment reflects an undercurrent of tension that runs through their relationships. The three women, who have been friends since elementary school and are vacationing together at a luxury resort in Thailand, fawn over one another for being \u201ctoo generous\u201d and looking \u201cincredible.\u201d But they also pair up and gossip about each other \u2014 for drinking too much, needing male attention and for maybe being Republican. They are in their 40s, but their dynamics recall that of a high school clique. To many viewers, these details spotlight a common experience: Sometimes you regress when you\u2019re with the people you\u2019ve known the longest. Being reminded of a long-tucked-away facet of your personality can be one of the upsides of long-term friendship. But old friends can also bring back long-abandoned self-doubt and unhealthy patterns that can leave you with \u201cthat ick feeling,\u201d said Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, who studies friendships.The \u201cWhite Lotus\u201d creator, Mike White, wanted to explore this regressive behavior among friends, especially when one has seemingly achieved more success than the others have. (Jaclyn, played by Michelle Monaghan, is a famous TV actor; Kate, played by Leslie Bibb, is a stay-at-home mom; and Laurie is a corporate lawyer.) \u201cJust being around those people scratches certain wounds, even if they don\u2019t mean to,\u201d Mr. White said in an interview in February with HBO. As a result, you feel compelled, he said, to \u201cjustify your life to certain types of people that you have that history with.\u201dThe competitive tension flares up when the three women meet the resort\u2019s attractive and flirtatious \u201chealth mentor,\u201d Valentin, and a tangle ensues over his attention. \u201cWhy did you keep pushing him on me when it was always your plan to hook up with him yourself?\u201d Laurie demands of Jaclyn, pouting when she gets no satisfying answer. \u201cIt\u2019s like nobody ever changes,\u201d she says.Insecurity is the jet fuel that drives this kind of dynamic, Dr. Campbell said. Childhood friends are formed at a time when individuals, particularly young girls, generally have lower self-esteem. At that age, we might compare ourselves with our friends and seek more external validation, she said. \u201cHopefully, by the time you get to adulthood, you work through that insecurity.\u201dWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25098,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25096"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25096\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25099,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25096\/revisions\/25099"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/25098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}