{"id":16268,"date":"2024-11-10T09:02:18","date_gmt":"2024-11-10T10:02:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=16268"},"modified":"2024-11-10T18:24:53","modified_gmt":"2024-11-10T18:24:53","slug":"for-older-unmarried-couples-caregiving-obligations-can-be-murky-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=16268","title":{"rendered":"For Older Unmarried Couples, Caregiving Obligations Can Be Murky"},"content":{"rendered":"
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They\u2019ve been an unmarried couple for almost 20 years. Both widowed, and now in their 90s, they maintain separate residences in Florida but mostly live together in her home \u2014 an increasingly important issue because, a few years ago, she began developing memory loss.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, she forgets to eat. She has taken some falls, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cHis presence is helpful and supportive,\u201d said Jenna Wells, one of her relatives and a Cornell University psychologist. \u201cHe takes her to the doctor. He takes her out to dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

But he knows he will have trouble caring for her as they both age and her condition deteriorates. So he proposed to her family that the two of them move together into a continuing care retirement community, where residents can shift from independent to assisted living, then to nursing and memory care units.<\/p>\n

If they wait too long, he points out, a facility could insist that she enter memory care directly, and he won\u2019t be able to live there with her.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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The woman\u2019s daughter, who holds her power of attorney, opposes that plan. \u201cShe doesn\u2019t like her mother\u2019s gentleman friend, as we call him,\u201d Dr. Wells said. \u201cThey\u2019ve never gotten along. There\u2019s mistrust about his living in her house.\u201d<\/p>\n

For now, with a decision on hold, the couple is managing with home care aides.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs we see this shift, with less of a focus on marriage in older people, this is going to come up a lot,\u201d Dr. Wells said.<\/p>\n

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They\u2019ve been an unmarried couple for almost 20 years. Both widowed, and now in their 90s, they maintain separate residences in Florida but mostly live together in her home \u2014 an increasingly important issue because, a few years ago, she began developing memory loss.Sometimes, she forgets to eat. She has taken some falls, too.\u201cHis presence is helpful and supportive,\u201d said Jenna Wells, one of her relatives and a Cornell University psychologist. \u201cHe takes her to the doctor. He takes her out to dinner.\u201dBut he knows he will have trouble caring for her as they both age and her condition deteriorates. So he proposed to her family that the two of them move together into a continuing care retirement community, where residents can shift from independent to assisted living, then to nursing and memory care units.If they wait too long, he points out, a facility could insist that she enter memory care directly, and he won\u2019t be able to live there with her.The woman\u2019s daughter, who holds her power of attorney, opposes that plan. \u201cShe doesn\u2019t like her mother\u2019s gentleman friend, as we call him,\u201d Dr. Wells said. \u201cThey\u2019ve never gotten along. There\u2019s mistrust about his living in her house.\u201dFor now, with a decision on hold, the couple is managing with home care aides.\u201cAs we see this shift, with less of a focus on marriage in older people, this is going to come up a lot,\u201d Dr. Wells said.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16262,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16268"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16270,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16268\/revisions\/16270"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/16262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}