{"id":14930,"date":"2024-10-18T09:04:57","date_gmt":"2024-10-18T09:04:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=14930"},"modified":"2024-10-18T09:23:11","modified_gmt":"2024-10-18T09:23:11","slug":"how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=14930","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Being a People Pleaser"},"content":{"rendered":"
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We have some useful tips from experts. But no worries if you\u2019re not ready!<\/p>\n

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When I was in my early 20s, the apex of my people-pleasing years, I dated an aspiring poet.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t want to get a job, he said, because it interfered with his creative process. He lived happily at home with his parents; I paid for everything else.<\/p>\n

As my debt increased, I continued to be his human A.T.M. because I was afraid that if I stopped, he would break up with me.<\/p>\n

When I finally informed him the party was over, he vanished, leaving me with a bruised ego and bad credit.<\/p>\n

People pleasing, the tendency to prioritize other people\u2019s wants and needs at the expense of your own, happens for a range of reasons, said Ilene Cohen, a therapist and author of \u201cWhen It\u2019s Never About You.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Some of us formed the habit as children and carried it into adulthood, she said, while others use it to deal with social inadequacy or anxiety, or a fear of conflict.<\/p>\n

But people pleasing can also feel good \u2014 at least at first, Dr. Cohen added. When you meet other people\u2019s needs, \u201cyou\u2019re the responsible one,\u201d she said. \u201cYou\u2019re the one that people come to.\u201d<\/p>\n

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We have some useful tips from experts. But no worries if you\u2019re not ready!When I was in my early 20s, the apex of my people-pleasing years, I dated an aspiring poet.He didn\u2019t want to get a job, he said, because it interfered with his creative process. He lived happily at home with his parents; I paid for everything else.As my debt increased, I continued to be his human A.T.M. because I was afraid that if I stopped, he would break up with me.When I finally informed him the party was over, he vanished, leaving me with a bruised ego and bad credit.People pleasing, the tendency to prioritize other people\u2019s wants and needs at the expense of your own, happens for a range of reasons, said Ilene Cohen, a therapist and author of \u201cWhen It\u2019s Never About You.\u201dSome of us formed the habit as children and carried it into adulthood, she said, while others use it to deal with social inadequacy or anxiety, or a fear of conflict.But people pleasing can also feel good \u2014 at least at first, Dr. Cohen added. When you meet other people\u2019s needs, \u201cyou\u2019re the responsible one,\u201d she said. \u201cYou\u2019re the one that people come to.\u201dWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14932,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14930","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14930"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14930\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14933,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14930\/revisions\/14933"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14930"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14930"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14930"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}