{"id":14574,"date":"2024-10-11T09:05:58","date_gmt":"2024-10-11T09:05:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=14574"},"modified":"2024-10-11T09:24:30","modified_gmt":"2024-10-11T09:24:30","slug":"what-not-to-say-when-someone-is-grieving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=14574","title":{"rendered":"What Not to Say When Someone Is Grieving"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Some words hurt more than they help.<\/p>\n

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I have two friends who recently lost someone very close. As people have tried to comfort them, they\u2019ve repeatedly heard the same phrase: \u201cEverything happens for a reason.\u201d<\/p>\n

This only makes them feel worse.<\/p>\n

David Kessler, an author of several books on grief, heard the phrase a lot when he lost his son eight years ago. It made him feel isolated, frustrated and angry. He told me that he once pressed someone for an explanation. \u201cI could use a good reason,\u201d he recalled saying.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to understand why we use phrases like this, said Joanne Cacciatore, a professor of social work at Arizona State University and the author of \u201cBearing the Unbearable.\u201d It\u2019s because we\u2019re uncomfortable. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to see that people are on their knees,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Most of us haven\u2019t been taught how to handle other people\u2019s grief, added Alexandra Solomon, a psychologist at Northwestern University. \u201cSo we will reach for aphorisms and platitudes to fill in that space,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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But grief needs to be witnessed, not deflected, Kessler said. \u201cAnd if I say to you, \u2018Everything happens for a reason,\u2019 I am missing your pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Still, it can be hard to find the right words. So I asked the experts for their advice.<\/p>\n