{"id":13709,"date":"2024-09-27T09:03:48","date_gmt":"2024-09-27T09:03:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=13709"},"modified":"2024-09-27T09:26:19","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T09:26:19","slug":"what-to-do-when-a-joke-hurts-your-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/?p=13709","title":{"rendered":"What to Do When a Joke Hurts Your Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><\/div>\n<p id=\"article-summary\" data-testid=\"onsite-summary\" class=\"css-79rysd e1wiw3jv0\">Teasing can actually strengthen relationships, experts say. But sometimes things go too far.<\/p>\n<section class=\"meteredContent css-1r7ky0e\">\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-0\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">This past summer, Mia Smith-Bynum took a cruise to the Caribbean with her extended family, some of whom she was meeting for the first time. But for the first day and a half, she couldn\u2019t find her mother, who hadn\u2019t yet purchased Wi-Fi, on the massive ship.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">\u201cSo I\u2019m texting on this giant family feed, like, \u2018Has anybody seen my mom?\u2019\u201d Dr. Smith-Bynum told me. She\u2019d get a tip \u2014 \u201cI saw her by the pool!\u201d \u2014 and head over, only to miss her mom once again.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">This soon became a running joke with relatives who, weeks later, were still asking her, deadpan, if she ever found her mother.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Dr. Smith-Bynum, chair of family science at the University of Maryland, College Park, said she felt in on the joke. \u201cThis huge, friendly, Southern Black family said, \u2018You\u2019re in the family because we\u2019re teasing you,\u2019\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-testid=\"Dropzone-1\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-1\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Affectionate ribbing, like this, can strengthen connections, she said, because it\u2019s \u201ccoming from a place of warmth and celebration of the person\u2019s quirkiness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Then there\u2019s the harmful kind of teasing can make you feel <a class=\"css-yywogo\" href=\"https:\/\/esilab.berkeley.edu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Teasing-Review.pdf\" title rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\">shame and anger<\/a>, and can erode your sense of safety and trust. So I asked experts how to know when someone has gone too far \u2014 and how to shut them down.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-1336jj\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171d1bw\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\">\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\">\n<hr \/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F09%2F27%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fteasing-feelings-hurt-jokes-relationships.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">log into<\/a>\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F09%2F27%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fteasing-feelings-hurt-jokes-relationships.html\">subscribe<\/a>\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\">\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"log-in-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/myaccount.nytimes.com\/auth\/login?response_type=cookie&amp;client_id=vi&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F09%2F27%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fteasing-feelings-hurt-jokes-relationships.html&amp;asset=opttrunc\">Log in<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0<a data-testid=\"subscribe-link\" class=\"css-z5ryv4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/subscription?campaignId=89WYR&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2024%2F09%2F27%2Fwell%2Fmind%2Fteasing-feelings-hurt-jokes-relationships.html\">Subscribe<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Teasing can actually strengthen relationships, experts say. But sometimes things go too far.This past summer, Mia Smith-Bynum took a cruise to the Caribbean with her extended family, some of whom she was meeting for the first time. But for the first day and a half, she couldn\u2019t find her mother, who hadn\u2019t yet purchased Wi-Fi, on the massive ship.\u201cSo I\u2019m texting on this giant family feed, like, \u2018Has anybody seen my mom?\u2019\u201d Dr. Smith-Bynum told me. She\u2019d get a tip \u2014 \u201cI saw her by the pool!\u201d \u2014 and head over, only to miss her mom once again.This soon became a running joke with relatives who, weeks later, were still asking her, deadpan, if she ever found her mother.Dr. Smith-Bynum, chair of family science at the University of Maryland, College Park, said she felt in on the joke. \u201cThis huge, friendly, Southern Black family said, \u2018You\u2019re in the family because we\u2019re teasing you,\u2019\u201d she said.Affectionate ribbing, like this, can strengthen connections, she said, because it\u2019s \u201ccoming from a place of warmth and celebration of the person\u2019s quirkiness.\u201dThen there\u2019s the harmful kind of teasing can make you feel shame and anger, and can erode your sense of safety and trust. So I asked experts how to know when someone has gone too far \u2014 and how to shut them down.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13711,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13709"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13709\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13712,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13709\/revisions\/13712"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medexperts.pro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}