Entering the new year pushes people into punishment mode. Instead, focus on what feeds you.
I’m Lori Leibovich, the editor of the Well desk, and I’m filling in for Jancee Dunn this week.
I’m not immune to the allure of resolutions, especially health-related ones. For about 25 Januarys, I vowed to drink eight glasses of water a day. And for 25 years, I failed. Usually, I’d make it only a few days before I reverted to drinking water the old-fashioned way: When I was thirsty.
The same thing happened when I resolved to journal, get in 10,000 steps a day, do daily push-ups, do daily crunches and so on.
A few years ago, though, I resolved to do something truly different: Stop setting myself up for failure. Now, I sit down during the first week of January and list the things I did last year that made me feel good. (When I need help remembering, I scroll through the photos on my phone.)
This year’s list included seeing live performances (PJ Harvey in Philadelphia, the Paul Taylor Dance Company in upstate New York), traveling, walking in the park with friends and running a 10K.
Once I’m done with my list, I go into my calendar and schedule time for more of these activities. But I don’t haphazardly pick a few dates. I set a reminder to check which of my favorite artists are touring and when tickets will go on sale; I block off time to research travel destinations and book flights; I email friends and make dinner dates to get my social calendar going. By doing this, I am future-proofing my happiness by planning things I know will feed it.
My process made me wonder whether other people had found interesting ways of thinking about resolutions. So I reached out to a few experts whose work I admire and asked them how they approach resolution season.