There are ways to broach the topic successfully — it’s all about time, place and tone.
The holidays are a time of excess. Too much food. Too much drink. And sometimes an alcohol problem can masquerade as high spirits and good cheer.
The holidays can also be a vulnerable period for people struggling with alcohol or drug use. A drinking problem can “magnify that this is not a happy time” for all, said Patricia O’Gorman, a trauma and addiction psychologist in Saranac Lake, N.Y.
So what should you do if you see family members or friends drinking too much this season? It probably isn’t the obvious time of year for an intervention. But sometimes it’s the only chance we have to see loved ones we care and worry about.
Years ago, I came home for Thanksgiving, and immediately received a request from my mom. It wasn’t to make mashed potatoes or set the table. She asked me to help my sister find a wig.
The night before, on a bender, my sister had shaved her head. And that morning in the wig shop, I decided to confront her about her substance use. I knew it wasn’t the right moment, but I was desperate to inspire some self-reflection. Alcoholism runs in the family, and I was terrified.
It was a disaster. I was not prepared for her defensiveness, or to keep my emotions in check. But experts say there are ways to talk to someone about their drinking without ruining the holidays — it’s all about time, place and tone.